The American poet John Greenleaf Whittier once famously reflected; "For of all sad words of tongue or pen, the saddest are these: "It might have been". These words are of particular relevance today as modern life is buffeted by fear, insecurity and constant social and commercial change. The capacity for humans in developed countries to look to others for sustenance is a contemporary phenomenon fertilized in the 20th century and wildly expanded in the early 21st.
For most of human history individuals and small family groups were solely responsible for hunting, gathering and protecting their persons from the elements. No one retired. There were no work rules except you had better work and produce yours, and your family's sustenance. Vacations were unknown. Laziness would result in being cast out of the family unit and likely starvation.
Indeed, in most of the world to this day, people still eke out their living as subsistence herders, farmers or fisherman. They begin work as soon as they can walk and labor on until they die. Anthropologists have studied these populations and noted that on the whole, they seem to be more fulfilled, happier and content with the simplest pleasures of life than citizens of more wealthy, developed regions.
What makes modern man, resident of industrialized countries so melancholy? The relative abundance of necessities, and the opportunity to have these elements subsidized, or provided gratis have created entitlement societies.
This entitlement mindset has meant that many of us, not all for certain but many, have lost the edge to live life to the fullest, face risk bravely, occasionally fall down, but always rise to fight on another day. It is easier for these folk to blame others and as they sight abundance all around them, feel and stake a claim on this bounty even though they have not contributed to its creation.
I find this waste of talent, energy and personal fulfillment to be abhorrent. As Mr. Whittier so aptly stated; "It might have been". That it MIGHT have been means that it wasn't. Opportunity has been lost for these souls. Life passes by and regrets; remorse and bitterness at the unfairness and vagaries of life is almost always blamed on others.
Recently I attended the funeral of a very old friend. Life had not gone well for this lifelong acquaintance. As usually happens at the burial and the wake, friends and family discussed my departed friend and told stories about his life, loves and experiences. Sadly, as I made my way from many of his oldest friends to his family he was remembered with love, but also with a deep sadness. The melancholy was evident as many spoke of the departed's disappointment that his blue collar job and unfulfilled dreams that had turned him into a sad, semi-bitter old man.
This man had raised a family, worked, lived in a small tidy home, attended church, drove his own car, and possessed all of the modern conveniences of life: air conditioning, telephone, color television, washer, dryer, etc. In short, he was one of the richest people in the history of the world. But he had, and regularly expressed deep regrets at the path his life had taken. He was an unsatisfied inventor. At the time of his death his home workshop was full of models, prototypes and renderings of products he had conceived and wanted to bring to market. "It might have been", if only my old friend had been able to take the plunge and commit himself to fulfilling his dreams.
In my marketing and product development consulting business we meet all kinds of people seeking to commercialize their ideas and inventions. Many of the ideas are poorly conceived or have other problems. However, many offer real commercial appeal and opportunity. But very few, only a handful will ever be given a chance to see the consumer product marketplace. The dreamers who choose to find reasons not to fully commit themselves to seek success are cheating themselves.
I could not imagine facing the end of life and having regrets that I had let life pass me by, not played the game of life as fully as possible. W. C. Fields tombstone famously read, "I'd rather be here than in Philadelphia". Too many people should have gravestones that state: "It might have been".
